Almost all of us strive to be better at what we do, and yet struggle with many aspects of our lives. We lose motivation, we procrastinate, we do not prioritize important tasks, and do not manage our time well. We often feel lethargic, or tired by the end of the day.
What if we could recognize the factors needed for us to do well in our relationships, our professions, become good leaders, and feel good about ourselves every day?
Over the past few years we have seen the rise of coaches, not in sports and athletics, but for improving professional performance, for finding work-life balance, and for finding inner peace. Most may have considered engaging a life skills coach, and have kept putting it off, with a feeling that we do not really need such advice. We may have even tried to get our lives more organized, thinking that we could do it on our own.
So, what is life skills coaching all about?
First, we need to recognize the need to change the way we are, and accept that we need help. A coach will help assess our personality - the bundle of beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that make up who we are. Let’s examine what we need to know about why we think, say, and do the things we do. These are a set of attributes or traits:
Self-awareness: The ability to answer the question, “Who am I?” This, without reciting the contents of our resume. A life skills coach can encourage us to become aware of our emotions, how we react or respond to various situations and circumstances, so that we become aware of areas that we can change. The coach would subject us to a personality test that provides insight into some of our traits. This can help with ascertaining what roles we can effectively play in our professional and personal lives.
Perspective: The trait that opens our mind to other people’s points of view. Often, we get embroiled in heated discussions. In hindsight, these can be easily navigated, had we seen other people’s perspectives. We can expect better outcomes in meetings and discussions. A life skills coach acts as an observer - an outsider - who then helps with pointing out how we wear our “blinkers.”
Core Values: Our values are what we imbibe over our growing years and are core to our behavior. We can enumerate these values - trust, integrity, respect for individuals and the law, focus on adding value to other people’s lives, among others. A life skills coach will provide us with the motivation to adopt values that help us be better persons.
Sense of purpose: “Why did I get out of bed this morning?” A spontaneous answer is hard. A life skills coach will task us with exercises that help us define our purpose. The Japanese have a word that roughly translates to “purpose.” We need to have a purpose for different time frames - for a day, and for a lifetime. Without purpose, we cannot set goals and work towards living a full life.
Curiosity: We often describe curiosity as a childish trait that gets children into trouble. However, a desire to learn about things we know little about - languages, technology, art, culture, music - keeps our mind engaged and removed from regrets of the past and worries of the future. Dr. William R. Klemm, Ph.D., wrote in Psychology Today, “Learning is nature’s way of creating the brain’s “hardware” and “software.”
Grit and perseverance: These traits ensure that failure does not discourage a person. We need to have the mindset to look at failures as learning opportunities and get back up on our feet and continue in our quest to live our purpose and achieve our goals. A life skills coach will make us realize how we could have rebounded from the failures and thus learn to persevere with a never-give-in attitude.
